You know it’s going to be announced one of these days–RussiaGate, The Movie.
RussiaGate The Movie (working title only) will be an intense thriller filled with good guys (the FBI) and bad dudes (Russian spies). Mix in a sexy love interest, add lots of cheesy dialogue and we’ve got ourselves an action-packed Oscar contender!
So let’s cast this film, starting with Pierce Brosnan.
Brosnan would make a damn good FBI Director. He could introduce himself as, “Comey, James Comey.”
Judge Neil Gorsuch has gotta be played by his celebrity twin, Tom Bergeron.
Woody Harrelson would be a perfect Carter Page. Is that weed in Carter’s pocket or Russian bribes?
Chazz Palminteri as Paul Manafort. My money is on Chazz if these two ever get into a fight.
Ed Harris has already played good guy Senator John McCain, now he can play bad dude Russian president Vladmir Putin.
How about gruff military-type actor Charles Napier as the disgraced former Director of National Intelligence, Mike Flynn?
Wait, Charles Napier passed away. Damn it! Call Christoph Waltz instead.
Norm Macdonald as Colonel Sanders as Roger Stone.
British Prime Minister Teresa May needs a strong woman to fill her shoes like Helen Mirren.
Sean Bean as some random bad guy.
Hot-mess Courtney Love as hot-mess Kellyanne Conway.
Sean Spicer as Sean Spicer, in a hat.
Or maybe this hat?
Vice President Mike Pence comes to life thanks to Ellen DeGeneres. Same haircut and everything. She’s got better dance moves though.
Who plays Donald Trump? Well, that’s easy—LOUIE ANDERSON!
And last but not least, who could play the beautiful First Lady, Melania Trump? Pam Anderson.
What? You don’t see the resemblance? Let me help you out…
There you have it–RussiaGate, The Movie.
Coming soon–somewhere, some day–to a theater near you!