‘RussiaGate, The Movie’

You know it’s going to be announced one of these days–RussiaGate, The Movie.

RussiaGate The Movie (working title only) will be an intense thriller filled with good guys (the FBI) and bad dudes (Russian spies). Mix in a sexy love interest, add lots of cheesy dialogue and we’ve got ourselves an action-packed Oscar contender!

So let’s cast this film, starting with Pierce Brosnan.

Brosnan would make a damn good FBI Director. He could introduce himself as, “Comey, James Comey.”

comey pierce brosnan RussiaGate, The Movie

James Comey (left) and Pierce Brosnan (right).

Judge Neil Gorsuch has gotta be played by his celebrity twin, Tom Bergeron.

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Judge Gorsuch (left) and Tom Bergeron (right).

Woody Harrelson would be a perfect Carter Page. Is that weed in Carter’s pocket or Russian bribes?

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Woody Harrelson (left) and Carter Page (right).

Chazz Palminteri as Paul Manafort. My money is on Chazz if these two ever get into a fight.

manafort chazz RussiaGate, The Movie

Paul Manafort (left) and Chazz Palminteri (right).

Ed Harris has already played good guy Senator John McCain, now he can play bad dude Russian president Vladmir Putin.

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Putin (left) and Ed Harris (right).

How about gruff military-type actor Charles Napier as the disgraced former Director of National Intelligence, Mike Flynn?

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Mike Flynn (left) and Charlies Napier (right).

Wait, Charles Napier passed away. Damn it! Call Christoph Waltz instead.

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Christoph Waltz, the ultimate rogue military man.

Norm Macdonald as Colonel Sanders as Roger Stone.

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American hero Colonel Sanders (left) and Russian spy Roger Stone (right).

British Prime Minister Teresa May needs a strong woman to fill her shoes like Helen Mirren.

teresa may hellen mirren RussiaGate, The Movie

Teresa May (left) and Helen Mirren (right).

Sean Bean as some random bad guy.

sean bean RussiaGate, The Movie

Bad-ass actor Sean Bean.

Hot-mess Courtney Love as hot-mess Kellyanne Conway.

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Kellyanne Conway (left) and Courtney Love (right).

Sean Spicer as Sean Spicer, in a hat.

Or maybe this hat?

Vice President Mike Pence comes to life thanks to Ellen DeGeneres. Same haircut and everything. She’s got better dance moves though.

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Mike Pence (left) and Ellen (right).

Who plays Donald Trump? Well, that’s easy—LOUIE ANDERSON!

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Both of these photos are of Donald Trump.

And last but not least, who could play the beautiful First Lady, Melania Trump? Pam Anderson.

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Pamela Anderson.

What? You don’t see the resemblance? Let me help you out…

There you have it–RussiaGate, The Movie.

Coming soon–somewhere, some day–to a theater near you!

More from Christine Lee

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